God Damn I'm pissed.
I live near one of London's illustrious high schools. Not next door by any means but within 20 min walking distance. For the last 3 years my family and I have been dealing with vandalism and general bullshit. We back onto a park, so of course all those wildly intelligent teens hang out right near my house.
When we had a trampoline in the backyard they jumped in and out of our backyard to play on the damn thing. Once night my dad chased them down the path and fell, I got to call the ambulance.
Last year we dealt with eggings and vandalism. The little bastards drew on the cars up and down out street in permanent black marker. Oh yeah and the garage doors, so we got to repaint my garage door. Joy
This spring I have had 2 flat tires, the neighbours down the street had the same problem. Funny how a tire goes magically flat overnight in my driveway. Oh yeah did I mention the puncture marks in the tire? So we got to spend money buying brand new tires for the truck.
Finally this morning, oh glory be, more marker on my truck. Now my parents are stressed since "BITCH" was written all over my truck. Now they think I have enemies since mine was the only one with that particular label, and only our cars were 'artistically improved' So they are wigged since my flat tires and now this have happened since I broke up with the ex, not that they believe its him, though they wouldnt put it passed his friends. I doubt it but who knows.
I am at the end of my rope here. I am more than ready to sit out at night with a wicked big stick and beat these stupid little punks into obscurity. I was a teenager, I went to highschool. Granted a country school but still, these little shit bags have no decency and respect. Mabye the old saying is right 'spare the rod and spoil the child' well I am tempted to find myself a big rod and rectify that.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I am happy.
So I have never tried blogging before, so here goes nothing right? My life lately has been all about trying new things so why not try this. I have never been one to put my thoughts down on paper but who knows, mabye this will be my thing.
So in the last month and a half my life has gone under some pretty interesting changes.
In april I broke up with my bf of nearly four years. Some people have called me insane. Asking what was wrong with me in order to bring me to that conclusion. I have thought about it long and hard and I know why, and mabye its time to share.
In HS I didn't really have that many bfs. So when I met him it was like wow. And yes I loved him. But people grown and change and I don't think we grew together. I was unhappy, frustrated, tense and often downright miserable. I didn't know why, but I knew when I complained, he listened, but I never really felt like he understood.
I had my best friends, but when I needed someone other than them. because lets face it, even your best friend can drive you bat shit crazy sometimes, I talked to him. I got "why do you even like them" and "all they are is drama". But they were my friends, closer than sisters in so many ways, but I don't think he ever understood that.
Finally after one ridiculously brutal night, I decided I needed a break, but a break for him meant constantly calling me, and needing to see me. I felt as if i was being forever guilted into staying, as he claimed his life could not go on without me. He promised to stop drinking and driving. Which by the way is probably the thing I will hate the most about any human being. But I realized something very important over the pseudo break. I felt guilt because I didn't miss him, I was happy and I felt better than I had in months. And I realized I was in my reationship because it was safe, not because it was what I wanted.
So a week after declaring I needed a break, I decided a clean cut was best. And that is what I did. Instantly my friends were blamed for their negative views on relationships for persuading me. And that made me angry. My friends were probaby the best thing for me, and never once told me what I shoud think/feel/do. They were just there 24/7 whenever I needed them. And for that I will be forever greatful.
So now I am single, and I am happy. Thrilled actually. People who see me at work notice I am different. One commented in the words of Merideth Grey that I looked "Shiny" Well you know what I feel shiny. I feel fabulous, like life has restarted and I am right in the middle of it. I'm not shy anymore, I go out and meet people, try to be the life of the party and live everyday. I have gone out more in the last month than I probably have in the last 2 years consecutivly. And I feel I am a better person for what I have done.
And being where I am now and seeing the behaviour of my ex I am glad I did what I did. After watching you stumble across the parking lot and get in your truck to drive home drunk once again I realized I could never forgive you. Because not only do you not value your own life but the deaths of friends close to me meant nothing to you. Truth is I've grown up and you havn't. Highschool is over. Time to join the real world. I'm sorry I hurt you, but it was killing me. I just didnt know it. And I will never deny we were happy...very happy. once. Now I have to live my life.
So in the last month and a half my life has gone under some pretty interesting changes.
In april I broke up with my bf of nearly four years. Some people have called me insane. Asking what was wrong with me in order to bring me to that conclusion. I have thought about it long and hard and I know why, and mabye its time to share.
In HS I didn't really have that many bfs. So when I met him it was like wow. And yes I loved him. But people grown and change and I don't think we grew together. I was unhappy, frustrated, tense and often downright miserable. I didn't know why, but I knew when I complained, he listened, but I never really felt like he understood.
I had my best friends, but when I needed someone other than them. because lets face it, even your best friend can drive you bat shit crazy sometimes, I talked to him. I got "why do you even like them" and "all they are is drama". But they were my friends, closer than sisters in so many ways, but I don't think he ever understood that.
Finally after one ridiculously brutal night, I decided I needed a break, but a break for him meant constantly calling me, and needing to see me. I felt as if i was being forever guilted into staying, as he claimed his life could not go on without me. He promised to stop drinking and driving. Which by the way is probably the thing I will hate the most about any human being. But I realized something very important over the pseudo break. I felt guilt because I didn't miss him, I was happy and I felt better than I had in months. And I realized I was in my reationship because it was safe, not because it was what I wanted.
So a week after declaring I needed a break, I decided a clean cut was best. And that is what I did. Instantly my friends were blamed for their negative views on relationships for persuading me. And that made me angry. My friends were probaby the best thing for me, and never once told me what I shoud think/feel/do. They were just there 24/7 whenever I needed them. And for that I will be forever greatful.
So now I am single, and I am happy. Thrilled actually. People who see me at work notice I am different. One commented in the words of Merideth Grey that I looked "Shiny" Well you know what I feel shiny. I feel fabulous, like life has restarted and I am right in the middle of it. I'm not shy anymore, I go out and meet people, try to be the life of the party and live everyday. I have gone out more in the last month than I probably have in the last 2 years consecutivly. And I feel I am a better person for what I have done.
And being where I am now and seeing the behaviour of my ex I am glad I did what I did. After watching you stumble across the parking lot and get in your truck to drive home drunk once again I realized I could never forgive you. Because not only do you not value your own life but the deaths of friends close to me meant nothing to you. Truth is I've grown up and you havn't. Highschool is over. Time to join the real world. I'm sorry I hurt you, but it was killing me. I just didnt know it. And I will never deny we were happy...very happy. once. Now I have to live my life.
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